Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Book Review!

I got my first book review.  Wow.  Awesome, huh?  But as in everything that happens in my life, I relate it back to my art.  Let me start with the review was wonderful.  Well, really nice.  And I wanted more.  I wanted fame and fortune from my little review.  Darn.  There's that voice saying, "YOU MUST BE POPULAR CINDY IF YOU ARE TO BE VALUABLE!"

Popularity.  Like in the musical WICKED - I too must be popular.   This issue has haunted me since I was a fat eighth grader - alone - and lost.  Here I am years later with a happy marriage, success of some kind under my belt and still that 13 year old girl runs my life.  Her unfulfilled needs determine my happiness.  What is that?  When do I move into today and live in this moment and this time?  How many joys have I trounced over cause I didn't live now?  Cause she screamed - YOU'RE NOT ENOUGH!

Acting is so much about living in the now.  Being completely present.  Reacting as if all of this has never happened before.  It's a life lesson isn't it?

So.  Let me begin again.  My book got reviewed.  Te he.  And this person liked it.  And wow.  My book got reviewed.  Whoa dude. I wrote a book and it got published and now people are reading it and recommending it.  Neat.  It feels good.

And to my fat eighth grader I say, "thank you" for surviving those really rough years.  And I love you.  But you can let go now.

Oh and here's the review


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